Entertaining Crimes in Japan Awards, 2008 edition

1. “Mayonnaise Bandits” : a story of two 16 year olds squirting mayonnaise at passers-by in order to grab their bags. There have been 19 cases reported in two days!

2. “Tokyo fireman arrested for stealing underwear from a woman’s apartment” : I was kind of expecting it to be all ladder climbing, window breaking type of thing, but according to the fireman he just confused the apartment with that of his friend and the front door was unlocked… oh, he was also caught intoxicated, with two pairs of underwear in hand.

3. “Postman arrested for ditching mail in Wakayama”: the guy failed to deliver 101 postcards and letters, hiding it in some unoccupied house since… January (last year, that is). It says the letters were found undamaged, so they will be delivered to the recipients.

4. “Man arrested for filming up woman’s skirt”: check this out: “Police seized his cell phone and found about 620 similar images and videos, and will pursue further charges. Okuda was quoted by police as saying: “I’ve been coming to crowded places where there are lots of women wearing short skirts for about two years now. I read up on techniques on the Internet.”

5. “Officer in anti-drunken driving campaign fired for drunken driving“: it’s a pity this story is “expired”, but nevertheless, the headline looks good.

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#5 Read Manga Versions of Serious Books

OK, so last month they released a manga version of Marx’s “Das Kapital” in Japan. It sold 6,000 copies just in the first few days.

My first thought was “Wow, isn’t it great to introduce kids to alternative concepts at such a young age?”.

But then, (yet again), it hit me it’s Japan we’re talking about.

Maruo of EastPress Co says the target group is office workers in their 30s.

Now, first I wanted to rant that, man I spent all these hours when I was 17 trying to read that book and grasp the concept (mind you, I tried reading it in the original language, which didn’t ease understanding at all), when these guys over here just take a comic and get it all down.

So unfair.

But then, wouldn’t I want to do the same…?

(Feel free to mail me a copy. Cheers)

How to Speak Fluent Japanese Without Saying a Word pt 2

How to Speak Fluent Japanese Without Saying a Word Pt 1

Subaru Carwash Ad

Gotta love this:

#4 The Japanese Mini Skirt (or Why Anatomy Students Should Take a Year Abroad in Japan)

japanese-girls

Okay, one very cool thing I discovered in Japan is that you can show as much leg (or butt) as you want and it will never look vulgar.

Another thing I discovered shortly after, is that it only works on Japanese girls.

It probably has something to do with the fact that Japanese girls don’t have much curves, and thus however few clothes you use to cover those parts, it always looks innocently, prepubescently cute.  After all, who thinks 5 year-old girls look vulgar in their little dresses? (you don’t have to answer that) And since most Japanese girls in their 20s have the same body shape like when they were 5, these super mini skirts don’t look wrong.

Now, if you take a woman with a proper badonkadonk, and put her in that mini skirt you got in Shibuya 109, unfortunately, you don’t look cute, innocent and prepubescent. (Yep, talking from experience)

But let’s look at the bright side of things… ! The greatest thing of all, is that this habit doesn’t change as the weather gets colder (or freezing for that matter). So, anatomy students, beware: that allows you to see all the colours of the rainbow that can be shown by the human body on these Japanese legs: you’ll get purple and blue while walking around Shinjuku, then you’ll see orange, red, yellow and everything in between once you get on the heated trains. And bonus: you will also be able to see the complete vascular map of the legs without ever having to do dissections.

Sweet, isn’t it.

Tip#3 Feel safe in Japan

The cool thing about living in Japan is that:sakura

one, you are in an extremely safe country. No more fear of walking alone at night! No more Italy style pick-pockets! No more UK style stabbing!

two, if you do get murdered, it’s definitely going to be in the sickest way you’ve ever heard. There’s no such thing as a boring murder in Japan.

You might get pushed off in front of a passing train by a random stranger eating an onigiri.

You might be strangled by your Japanese student learning English and get your body burried in a bath full of sand.

You might be hit by a mini van in the city centre and then stabbed 9 times by the driver with a plastic chopstick that has a Hello Kitty charm on top.

But think about it, if you do get killed in Japan, there is absolutely no way you won’t make the headlines. You mom will put the newspaper in a frame and keep it on her office table. Your friends from kindergarten whom you haven’t seen or heard from for the past 24 years will remember you. Your ex-boyfriend will realise you’re the coolest girl he’s ever had.

Would that happen if you were simply shot in some barrio in NY?

Thought so.